Having a parent with a chronic illness can be tough for kids. It can make them more resilient, empathetic, and independent, but it can also make them feel guilty, frustrated, and alone. Some ways to help kids deal with these feelings is to talk with them, answer their questions, and make sure they understand as much as is developmentally appropriate. For older kids, giving them a journal to write in can help. Reading books together about what they're dealing with can help as well.
With that in mind, I've put together a list of children's books that you can read with your child to help them better understand your chronic illness and limitations.
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by Melissa Swanson
"All the kids in class made paper dolls to show someone they love who is hurt or sick. When it's Ravyn's turn to share, she shows a paper doll of her mom — and it looks like there is nothing wrong!
Ravyn teaches the class that even though her mom looks healthy, she’s not! Ravyn’s mom suffers from fibromyalgia and its evil sidekicks. Ravyn's Doll is a simple and effective way to explain fibromyalgia to your child. In a way that is understandable to children. it shows that not all illnesses are visible and explains how living with an invisible illness affects families' daily lives."
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by Ferne Sherkin-Langer
"A distressed little girl expresses her feelings when her mother goes to the hospital. Time drags and the child thinks of her constantly. Her understanding father helps her to cross off the days until she can visit and takes her to the hospital. When her mother comes home, normal life happily resumes. The nature of the woman's illness is not specified, but she is hospitalized periodically, which would make the book appropriate for children whose parents require chemotherapy, for example, as well as being generally useful for any parental hospital stay."
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by Nathalie Slosse
"This beautifully illustrated storybook describes the anger and emotion that many children encounter when a close relative or friend is diagnosed with a long-term illness, such as cancer. The story of Big Tree depicts how things are often out of your control and sets out effective strategies for dealing with these emotions."
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by Josie Leon
"When Mommy is having health issues, finding a way to discuss it with a young toddler can be challenging. Mommy’s Going to the Hospital offers parents a way to start a discussion using clear language and illustrations that can help you and your family make a plan for the situations and emotions that may arise as Mommy journeys from diagnosis, through the healing process, and back to full health."
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by Annette Rivlin-Gutman
"Mommy Has to Stay in Bed is for young children who are faced with the trauma of having a parent on bed rest. In this rhythmic and sensitive story, mother and daughter find ways to cope with feelings of frustration and boredom. Whether the parent is pregnant, has the flu, or is on long-term bed rest, Mommy Has to Stay in Bed brings the brighter side of spending time together in spite of a challenging situation."
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by Risa Kirschner
"Abby's mom has a boo boo, so her Nana takes her to the hospital to visit. Follow Abby's adventures as she finds a magical bed that moves, takes her teddy on a wheelchair ride, and learns that spending time with her mom can make a hospital feel like home. Based on the real experiences of the author's then two-year-old daughter, this sweet story teaches that hospitals are safe places for healing and that parents always love their children, even if they have to spend time away from home."
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by Katie Carone
"Mommy used to do a lot of fun things with me, but now she can't. Now it's my turn to help mommy! It can be sad and confusing for both kids and moms when a mother is hurt or sick and can't do all the things she used to. This simple and sweet book helps children understand limitations. It shares ideas on how kids can help, as well as activities a mom and child can can still do together. It reminds children that they are loved, and the best thing they can do is show love in return."
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by Elizabeth M. Christy
"This is a delightful story told by a young boy learning to understand and cope with his mother's illness. The story creates natural opportunities for families to talk about both the symptoms of chronic illness, and how they affect family life. Even more importantly, the story puts power into the hands of the children. It also offers a helpful "Tips and Resources" section for parents!"
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by Melinda Malott
"A mom uses a brilliant jar-and-marble analogy to teach her son about her limitations related to chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) and fibromyalgia. The book uses marbles, a toy all children are familiar with, as a measure of the mothers limited energy. Using a jar and some marbles, the author conveys difficult concepts in terms that children can understand."
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by Simone Colwill
"How do you support a child with a sick relative? How do you empower them (and their family) to help too? You’ll find the answer to these questions and more in “What Does Super Jonny Do When Mom Gets Sick?" Jonny is a little superhero with a BIG problem! His Mom is sick. How can he help? JOIN Jonny and Bear, as they go to the hospital to investigate."
Also see the versions of this book written for Crohn's Disease and Heart Disease.
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by Angie McPherson
"Morgan's mom has multiple sclerosis or MS, for short. Sometimes she worries about her mom's illness. But she's found out over time, it might not be as scary as she thought. Join Morgan as she talks about what her family life is like living with a chronically ill parent. There is a resource guide at the back of the book if more information is needed on MS and family life."
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by Rachel Smith
"An interactive journal for kids with chronically ill moms. The spoon theory explained, coloring pages, random silly facts, pages for mom and child to do together, and more!"
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by Kathleen Long Bostrom
"A beautiful book telling the story of Pete, a boy whose dad used to run and swing him around, but now can hardly walk, much less play. Pete is hurt and angry and doesn't understand why this has happened. Pete's dad tells him that even though he can no longer run, he can still be Pete's father. The book includes two pages of suggestions for parents and others helping a child through loss of this kind."
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10+ Books for kids of Chronically Ill Moms: https://bit.ly/2Ft2qpb
If you know of any other books, I'd love for you to share them in the comments!
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